Bathe those feet in sweet, sweet luxury

Are you sick of letting your base extremities go unwashed because of that pesky bending over at the waist thing? Are you tired of the putrid fungus forming between your little piggies simply due to your unwillingness to literally clean head to toe? Do you find yourself wishing every day that you were born back in the good old days of the first century when Jesus was washing feet like there was no tomorrow?
Well my funky-footed friend, today is your lucky day...

From the makers of "Showering after a hefty dump in lieu of wiping your ass."