- You hate your kids for the dream killing, bank account draining, booger factories they are.
- Black people are better at Wii basketball.
- You have watched an unjustifiable amount of "The Golden Girls"... and you've loved every minute.
|Thank you for being a friend...|
- You've considered pushing a woman into oncoming traffic for carrying her dog in her purse.
- You cried like a baby when you watched the opening scene of "Up" (the jig is up fellas).
- You don't actually understand how the radio works.
- You hate everyone who uses the term "staycation."
- You are completely mystified by the fact that women stop menstruating when they're in the water.
- You have no fucking idea where Guam is.