Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Watch more reruns!

According to a recent study conducted by the University of Buffalo Research Institute on Addictions, watching television reruns can have some unexpected benefits. Now sure, you might be saying to yourself, “Shouldn’t a school that researches addictions be spending less time watching syndicated TV and more time figuring out a way to, oh I don’t know, kick a heroine habit?” but the truth is, TV might actually help you get off that pesky smack.
It turns out that watching reruns, then reflecting back on the episodes of your favorite shows, can actually help you maintain self-control and resist temptation. Who knew? Watching all those hours of Perfect Strangers might not only be hilarious (Oh that Balki, such a whacky fellow), but it might help you to resist eating so many Oreos after 11pm, or even stop you from blowing that guy for some meth!
So, in honor of this discovery of yet another reason I should stay on my couch all day, I've included some other benefits and life lessons you can take from reruns of some of my favorite TV shows of yesteryear:

"Sometimes, when I think about Shawn, my pants feel funny..."
Boy Meets World: Heed the advice of your elders
If there’s anything to be learned from this show, it’s that there is no better place to look for advice, than to your sage-like, elderly neighbor. Episode after episode, Cory Matthews, his friends, and even his parents, turned to Mr. Feeny for his invaluable lessons from the other side of the fence. So if your next-door neighbor is an old man, especially one who lives alone, you should absolutely be pestering him with all of your inane problems. Maybe he drinks a little too much, once threatened to shoot your dog, and he still calls black people “coloreds,” but trust me, that man has a wealth of wisdom that can solve even your most troubling quandaries.

ALF: Tolerance
When Alien Life Form Gordon Shumway’s space ship crash-landed in the garage of Willie Tanner’s suburban California home, did he report it to the authorities? No. Did he feel compelled to protect his family by alerting the proper organizations that an alien being had slammed into his car park? No. He did what any upstanding, tolerant American should do; he let it live with him. Sure Alf caused a ton of trouble, was constantly trying to eat the family cat, and eventually got the Tanners arrested in season four, but Willie was not about to let himself judge Alf by the color of his fur (or the fact that he fell from space). So take a lesson from Willie Tanner here, and when you find a hobo taking up residence in your garage, look not at whether he is black, white, brown or purple… just let him move in with your family.

Charles in Charge: Responsibility
Charles, a young man trying to work his way through college, could’ve bartended, he could’ve worked in the school bookstore, or at a local pizza joint, but instead he chose a venture with a bit more responsibility… raising a family. The Powell family was a busy one, dad was in the Navy, mom apparently worked enough to only appear in like five episodes, and grandpa… well I guess grandpa just didn’t give much of a shit. So when they needed help taking care of a wise-cracking young boy and two budding blonde teenage girls, they naturally turned to a twenty-year old male stranger. And to his credit, Charles accepted the daunting task of watching over Jamie, Sarah and Adam (incidentally, the two girls would grow up to be this and this), and didn’t sexually violate a single one (though he and Adam did have some tense moments). That, ladies and gentleman, is the epitome of responsibility.

No comments:

Post a Comment