Monday, October 25, 2010

Will Smith: Child Pimp

Where have you gone, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air?  A nation turns its lonely eyes to you...
Let me just start by saying that I have always been a huge Will Smith fan.  The guy does everything.  And he does everything well.  Could I have lived without Hitch?  Sure.  Would I miss Hancock if it were never made?  Doubtful.  Would the world be an undoubtedly better place if neither he, nor anyone else, had ever gotten Jiggy Wit' It?  Absolutely.  But still, he's Will Smith.  He's the man.  And anything he did that was even a little less than stellar was excusable by his role on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air alone.  Or at least it was, until now.
Willow Smith must be stopped.  I hesitate to even write this post for fear of accidentally contributing to her cause, but I needed to warn the masses who have been lucky enough to not yet be exposed.  SHE MUST BE STOPPED.
For reasons beyond rational comprehension, the child pimping of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith has not stopped with Jaden (remaking the Karate Kid is blatant sacrilege, and I was even willing to let that slide).  Now their 9 year old daughter is invading our airwaves and our lives with her overly flamboyant hair (and I hate to say it, but her dad's ears too, the poor kid).  That's right, 9 year old Willow Smith has released her first single "Whip My Hair" and it is taking the country by storm.  And why shouldn't it be?  She's 9 after all, and clearly ready for the spotlight.  I mean, if she wasn't, would she have the maturity to artistically tackle a song about arbitrarily flinging her hair all over the place?  I think not.
Note the sarcasm Will (that's right, I'm assuming one of my 4 fans must be Big Willy).  It's not every day I write a blog attacking a 9 year old, but you did this Will.... Not me.  And only you can stop it before it's too late.  If you're hard up for cash I can talk to some people and see if I can't get you a few hours at a Radio Shack or something.  But this?  No good sir, you are better than this.

1 comment:

  1. If it were not for the Fresh Prince, I might not be so damn super fly today Tom. I just want to thank you for bringing this "Whip My Hair" subject to my attention. To be quite honest with you I have not heard of it until now, and I must say Ide rather jerk off with sand paper then watch another 10 seconds of it. Keep up the good work my friend.
    - Olivo

    PS: I once walked in on Josh dancing in his dorm room and singing along to " Going To Miami"