Thursday, November 18, 2010

Faster than a speeding...

So I saw a commercial for the brand new Sonic the Hedgehog game (as if they could top Sonic 2, what up chemical plant?) and I noticed something odd.  For some reason in their slogan they refer to our speedy blue hero as "Faster than a speeding you know what..."
But the thing is, I don't know what.  Can they not say the word bullet on television?  Does Superman have that quote copyrighted and they don't want to pay the exorbitant Kryptonian royalties?  Or even better, do they have something much filthier in mind that might not go over too well with the FCC?
Who knows?  Not me, but I am willing to venture a few guesses...

- "Sonic, he's faster than a speeding pile of shit."
- "Sonic, he's faster than a speeding out of control train manned only by Denzel Washington and Chris Pine who must put aside their difference in age and find a common ground if they want to live to see another day."
- "Sonic, he's faster than a speeding panda murder."
- "Sonic, he's faster than a speeding, and inexplicably armed to the teeth, Delonte West (this story still cracks me up)."
- "Sonic, he's faster than the speed-dating session where your mother and I met... we've been intimately involved ever since. Now I don't want you to think I'm trying to replace your dad, because I'm not.  But I do ask that you treat me with respect while I am in this house.  Okay sport?"

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