Having worked in New York City for two years I thought I had seen all of the quirky vagabonds the world had to offer. After all, who was going to top the uncommonly smug bum that refused to accept Sacajawea dollar coins? Or who would out-weird the woman who begged alongside her shivering hairless dog and freely admitted her husband was "at home, probably watching The Price Is Right"? And what drifter on God's green Earth could possibly out-hobo the man with a gated (chain link fenced) Harlem River waterfront bum-palace tucked neatly under a highway overpass off a Yankee Stadium parking lot (a bum-palace which I was lucky enough to see him defend from intruders with a lead pipe and an inimitable thirst for blood, I might add)? But it happened. The Los Angelino gutterbug I saw yesterday topped them all. I call him simply... The Bum P3.
And it's exactly what you think it is. He was standing on the median of the road, shamelessly panhandling while white earbuds dangled at his side... because yes, he was listening to his Ipod. He was holding a sign too, which I couldn't exactly make out, but I imagine it read something like this:
HOMELESS AND HUNGRY
FOR MELODIC ROCK RIFFS:
still without new linkin park
album that's been out
for 2 months
EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS!
So congratulations Bum P3, because based solely on the sheer balls it takes to beg while rocking an Ipod, you win.