So I was watching the 1985 film "Witness" with Harrison Ford (if you're looking for the gripping, edge of your seat excitement that can only be generated by a film focused largely on the Amish community then check it out) and I found myself wondering, what's the story with the Amish and mustaches?
Do they hate them? Are they genetically unable to grow them? Do their strong religious beliefs stand diametrically opposed to whatever it is mustaches apparently represent?
I simply do not understand. I just know that every single dude in this movie is rocking a pretty stellar chin-beard, but there is not one Tom Selleck, nor a Goose Gossage, not even a single Mr. Feeny among the bunch.
I dunno, you'd think with such a wealth of facial hair at least one of them would have the urge to venture into the uncharted territory that is the upper lip. The ball's in your court Amish.