We have all been in the situation of sitting in a gimmicky chain restaurant, looking around at the retro-motif collectibles that riddle the walls and wondering to ourselves "where the hell do they get all this crap?" Usually it is uninteresting garbage that, in the end, the restaurant probably shouldn't even waste their money on. But once in great while, something on those walls changes your life.Not long ago I found myself at a T.G.I. Friday's in New York. I was enjoying some cold beer and shitty chicken fingers when, as if from nowhere, hidden amongst the out of state license plates, Star Wars posters and wooden snowshoes, I found this gem on the wall and I knew it must be shared with the world:
This is easily the most amusing/most terrifying piece of days gone by that I have ever encountered. One on hand, I couldn't help but be awed by the sheer amount of hair on this baby's head. Not only was it plentiful, but it was so shockingly rich and voluminous I assumed he was likely the very first spokesbaby for L'Oreal.
On the other hand, it was eerily reminiscent of the painting of Vigo the Carpathian from Ghostbusters II. Throughout the course of my meal, I had a sinking feeling that this portrait was out to steal the soul of my first born son and use his body as a vessel for James Brown's return to the world of the living.
In any case, I of course stole the painting and have hidden it somewhere which I promise, will scare the hell out of you when you find it... Sleep tight.