Thursday, January 13, 2011

Athletes in Film: Dan Marino

Now I may be biased because I'm a Miami Dolphins fan (I feel your pain Hootie... yes Blowfish fanatics, that was an "I Only Wanna Be With You" reference), or I may just be a sharply refined connoisseur of fine comedy, but in either case I think Dan Marino's turn in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective was friggin priceless.
Playing himself and the kidnap victim of a psychotic, trannie ex-kicker (props to Ray Finkle for forever giving me a fantasy football name), Dan is the perfect straight man to Jim Carrey's tu-tu wearing, chloroform wielding, ass-talking critter gumshoe Ace.
While only appearing in a few scenes, Marino's performance is rife with curly-haired hilarity.

- While Ace fights Finkle/Einhorn, Marino begs the question: "Having a little trouble with the lady Ace?"
- Moments later, he has the pleasure of discovering that lady's lumpy little secret.  Being the first to spot the subtly tucked back, yet bulbous man-bulge hiding in her panties (sorry for even finding a picture of that).
- And finally, while driving down the highway with their heads out the window, playing a role in one of my favorite dialogue exchanges of all time :
"Hey Ace!"
"Yeah Dan?"
"You have anymore of that gum?"
"That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs."
"You're a weird guy Ace.  Weird guy."

So I commend you and your sharp thespian skills Mr. Marino.  While you may not have won a Super Bowl, let's be honest...  more people will remember this anyway.

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