You know why it's been raining in California for the better part of 2 weeks? Because Little Fockers is the #1 movie in the country, and God is devastated. Way to go America.
For those of you who don't know, Little Fockers is the third installment in the sensory raping Meet the Parents franchise starring Ben Stiller and Robert DeNiro. Two actors who, when separate, have made some truly amazing pictures, but who have recently combined forces to create a trilogy of films so awful it feels like the devil is taking a shit on your heart. Here's the rundown for those of you lucky enough to have not yet been exposed to these Satan-dumps:
- Ben Stiller is married to Robert DeNiro's daughter, Robert DeNiro is not happy about this.
- Ben Stiller's family is full of liberal hippies, Robert DeNiro is not happy about this.
- Ben Stiller is a male nurse, Robert DeNiro is not happy about this.
- Owen Wilson is a loveable, well intentioned chap who was dumped by Robert DeNiro's daughter. Robert DeNiro is not fucking happy about this.
- Robert DeNiro is "watching" Ben Stiller (insert pointing at eyes and frowning curmudgeonly).
- Robert DeNiro is a CIA tough guy, but he really loves his cat (ironic juxtaposition is HIIII-larious).
- Oh, and last but certainly not least, Ben Stiller's last name sounds like a particularly notorious curse word! How deliciously naughty!
To sum up, if you spent $10 to go see this movie last week you should be focking ashamed of yourself. And if you plan to spend $10 to go see it this week at the Regal 12 in downtown LA, let me assure you I will be waiting outside the theater to slap you across your focking face with a 15 lb. trout you focking focker.