Shirtless Fat Guy, ESQ.

So while I was taking advantage of DirecTV's free week of NBA League Pass, I caught an Orlando Magic broadcast on the day they were crowning the Ultimate Magic Super-fan.  It was a nice little competition in which the most devoted fans got some TV time and a chance to be voted fan of the year.  One man however, was deemed ineligible, for reasons which I assumed involved his being entirely too awesome.  This is that man...

Upon seeing this, I immediately decided I will be moving to Orlando, and retaining his services as my lawyer. 
"The Fat Guy," as he is lovingly known, was declared ineligible from the contest because it was assumed by everyone that he is obviously the ultimate fan, and has won the award too often.  He did however, serve as the master of ceremonies and presented the award wearing this.
Hats (and shirts) off to you Mr. Dennis Salvagio, you made my day.