Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Way to ruin ice cream

Have you ever been eating ice cream and suddenly you miss your mom and you don't know why? Well check the ingredients, because you may be eating breast milk... ya sicky.
Yeah. I know. Gross.
Quit Bogarting my supply!
The product is called Baby Gaga (because apparently what it's made of wasn't strange enough, so they upped the ante with the name too) and it's becoming a big hit in a London ice cream shop (it's stuff like this that makes it clear why we felt such a strong need for revolution, you limey pervs). The owner of the shop claims it's novel because "No one has done anything interesting with ice cream in the last 100 years." You're actually right sir. And do you know why that is? Because ice cream is awesome. It's perfect and everyone is on board with it. Not unlike boobs. Yes, everyone loves ice cream and boobs, but now you've gone and made them both creepy. Thanks a lot, dick.
Don't get me wrong, I understand that breast milk is an all natural product that most of us survived on as children, and I realize that is the primary argument those defending this product make. But I pose this question to those very same people. Do you realize what those completely true facts don't change at all? That it's weird. It's really weird. It's weird. Stop it.
In conclusion, I'll at least suggest a marketing slogan:
Breast milk- It does a body good... A baby's body. You freakshows.

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