Wednesday, March 30, 2011

LeBron James: Setting a new standard in pussydom

Looks like we finally figured out what happens when you grow up being worshiped from the age of 12, constantly being told you're the second coming, and never having anyone say a single bad thing about you. You become the world's richest pussy.
This picture is never not relevant.
Last night, adding to the litany of pussy moves in his stellar being-a-pussy career (refusing to shake hands after a loss, refusing to talk to the media after a loss, driving his coach out of town then proceeding to leave anyway, holding a nationally televised special to announce the royal boning of his hometown, making a commercial that portrayed things as though he were the victim, more than likely being one of the guys crying in the Miami locker room, never hitting the big shot, and so on), LeBron James elected to skip the pregame introductions during his team's second visit to Cleveland this season in order to avoid the deluge of boos that were sure to come his way.
When asked where he was LeBron simply answered "I was in the rest room." Which I'm sure he was. In fact there's no doubt in my mind that he was huddled up in a locked stall rocking back and forth and repeating aloud "Everyone loves you, everyone loves you..." He then conveniently left the bathroom and made his way out to the court while the lights were down for the Cavaliers intro.
This is honestly friggin' pathetic. For the amount LeBron gets paid for one game I would happily walk out to midcourt at a Lakers game wearing a t-shirt that says "I gave Magic AIDS" (and if you double it I'd throw "Kobe was guilty" on the back). But this guy, a grown man and professional athlete, can't even handle the boos he so obviously deserves. How thin skinned can you be (if Nike has any integrity whatsoever they will make the next pair of LeBron's an open-toed, strappy heel)? I can't help but imagine Dwyane Wade rubbing the back of a teary-eyed, snot nosed LeBron James in the tunnel and gently reassuring him "It's gonna be okay buddy. The boos can't hurt you, I promise. I'm right here."
But the best part of it all? The Heat got handled by the league worst Cavs and lost the game 102-90.
This one's on you LeBitch. Nice job.

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