Why buy the tiger if you get the milk for free?

Want to get your fix of feline calcium in the morning but sick of the hassle that goes along with extracting it from the world's largest known jungle cat?
Are you fed up with the high cost of tranquilizers? Are you sick of the complicated milk pumps? Are you ready to rid your morning routine of the high risk nature of getting your mouth around a tiger's nipple? Say no more.
From the company that brought you Bear Cheese and Gorilla Eggs, comes the product that will revolutionize your intake of cat dairy forever... Tiger's Milk!

Tiger's Milk- It'll put hair on your balls... striped hair.