Thursday, February 17, 2011

Armageddon my dear Watson

A: This will be considered the first major step in the end of all humanity.
Q: What is, this God damned computer.

Listen, I know this is like my third "psycho babble against artificial intelligence" post in like a month, but what the hell? Maybe if someone would listen I wouldn't have to keep writing them.
This week on Jeopardy IBM's super computer Watson did what everyone assumed it would, it demolished its human competition. What's that you say? It's a bit foreboding? Why yes, yes it is.
I have to ask, why on earth did we need to see this thing on Jeopardy? "Oooh, I've got a great idea. Let's prove once and for all that a well-made machine is superior to man in every way!" Oh yeah, totally necessary, and I'm sure nothing negative could come from it.
And by the way, Alex Trebek, if you're reading this, I want you to know I am very disappointed in you for pandering to a fucking computer. Why not just kneel before it and profess your loyal servitude next time? Come on Trebek, you're better than that.
Anyway, I want to find all of the people who decided this little gimmick needed to happen, on both the IBM side and the Jeopardy side, and drop them into an active volcano. It needs to happen.
And seriously, who are the dicks that insist on building these super sophisticated computers and robots? Have they not seen The Matrix? The Terminator? I, Robot? Eagle Eye (to be fair, they probably haven't seen Eagle Eye)? Honestly, what is their motivation? "Well gee, nothing will show everyone how smart I am more than if I create something so intelligent it destroys us all."
Knock it off! Nerds. Seriously. Stop it. Stop. Bad nerds!

1 comment:

  1. I hear you. It's like they've never seen "Short-Circuit" or "Small Wonder". We're doomed.