Sticky shoes

So, months after a friend posted this on facebook, I feel it's finally time to address the Gravity Defyer shoes. Are you as blown away by the shock absorbing trampoline heel as I am? Or the sleek breathable mesh? Or are your eyes focused on one thing and one thing only? Yeah, that's what I thought, cuz that's a sperm on the side of the shoe.
And why not? Obviously, when deciding how to market their product the good folks at Gravity Defyer noticed the strange lack of bodily fluids used as company logos, and decided to rectify the issue.
But I couldn't help but wonder, what slogan should accompany their "slick seed of life"?

- Gravity Defyers: They're jizz-tastic

- Gravity Defyers: Your feet will be swimming in comfort

- Gravity Defyers: They'll get all up in ya!

- Gravity Defyers: Just do it... unprotected

- Gravity Defyers: Fertilize the ovum of life

Any suggestions?