On Friday night of this past All-Star Weekend, troubled actress Lindsay Lohan was officially deemed too dangerous for the NBA. Yes, the young star was turned away from Pau Gasol's party because she was simply "too much trouble." Really? It's pretty bad ass when you are considered too much trouble for the NBA.
Just to make my point, let's go over a few of the names that would not likely have been turned away:
Locker room gun wielder and noted shark owner
Chris Andersen- Once suspended 2 years for drug use and also guilty of looking like this
Dennis Rodman- Future hall of famer who despite many other transgressions, will always be most dangerous thanks to his participation in the making of this film
Joakim Noah- He's this guy
Ron Artest- You simply never know, and since I don't have nearly enough time to list all of the possibilities here, let's just point out that he has spent literally his entire life being Ron Artest
So take pride Ms. Lohan, you are officially considered more volatile than every one of these men; Which by logic makes you the most dangerous person on the planet.
Then again though, maybe none of these people would have been allowed in. In fact now that I think about it, it's fairly likely that Pau Gasol's party was just a front for a meeting of Euro-NBA'ers only, in which they exchanged information on the delicate art of flopping and screaming like you've just been shot in the chest.
Save it for soccer ya jerks.